The signing was over and we only had an hour or so to get ready for the evening’s event: A party bus ride to Fairvilla Magastore (adult toys). We had always planned on going there for Seduction and Snacks night (based on Tara Sivec’s book, Seduction and Snacks) but when Cheryl Nasca, The party bus queen took over, we knew we were in for an adventure.
Of course, my group was the last to arrive at the bus, because we were standing outside freezing our asses off waiting for a shuttle to get to the meeting spot. When I got on the bus, the last seat available was next to Kerry, but it was already filled with little empty plastic cups. Apparently, the party had already started. The bus was filled with every type of jell-o shot ever invented, plus some amazing red-headed sluts, and pudding shots. OMG, these pudding shots were amazing, but a bus full of women licking cream out of a little cup on the way to a porn store was a little……aah who the heck cared! Luckily Cheryl had some chocolate covered strawberries and penises to fill us up, and Kim had her awesome pepperoni bread.
Just as things started to get a little crazy on the bus, we pull up to Fairvilla. Can you imagine if you were in a porn store and 55 women with cameras start walking in? Well the rapist guy in front was a bit mortified when I asked him to show us what was in his bag.
First thing Tara does is choose her necklace for the evening carefully:
Then, as we wander around, I see Amber looking at the Ass Midget. Apparently she had forgotten the “Ass Raping Gnomes” in Tara’s books. At that point, the evening was done, I had already peed my pants. (But with Tara, I’m “Always” prepared.)
When Tara and I had a vibrator war, Tara won. It may not have been a race, but I think Tara O’d first.
Then somehow, I got this awesome Australian saleslady who kept touching me with vibes and ending up
raping me for selling me $250 worth of sex toys! (Though my husband told me not to spend a lot, he was so happy when I did).
So we all boarded the bus to drive around for a while longer. Have I said there were HUNDREDS of Jell-o shots everywhere? Raine Miller, Katie Ashley and RK Lilley, sat up front with the calmer people…but everyone sang along here.
Then Tara spilled a little beer on her vag and needed to dry off
Then we are all going nuts in the back and suddenly the bus lurches over a curb and jerks to a stop. Apparently Katie, Raine and RK were having an adventure of their own up front. Let’s just say this:
Throughout the evening Deseree, CC and Kerry were tweeting “overheard on the party bus” tweets.
“My Mouth tastes like I licked an asshole”
“I’m sticky! Why am I so sticky?”
“I am in love with that fucking penis”
“If you need to orgasm, you need to orgasm”
“My liver just got up, walked out, and said Fuck this shit”
“Holy fuck, I just peed a little”
“When you have the green goddess inside of you, you just eat it”
“You gotta put your finger in it”
“Dirty Whore, you put everything in your mouth”
“My vagina is wet and it smells like beer”
“I just pissed myself with beer”
Finally, the crazy bus ride pulled back to the hotel. We were hungry, and ready to go back to the room and continue the party. While Tara, Buffy, Dez, Trinity, Ricki and a few others went to citiwalk to make a tattoo appointment for Tara, we hung out in our room and talked about sex to Raine and Katie (OK, Katie-not so much, she is just so sweet!). We talked about orgasms, even squirting ones! Squirting Suzy demonstrated her favorite position and Raine, Scandal and Kim all watched a squirting O video on my bed (book research!)
When the rest of the gang came back and warmed up (it was freezing out), we started partying again…but then the evening began to wind down as a pregnant CC went to bed. Scandal turned in too….then I found the blow-up penis (yes, I gave it a blow-job!)
Then, it’s about 4am, and we realized we had something to assrape Scandal with! So with some (very loud) whispering, we planned on sneaking in and violating her in her sleep, but our drunk asses were a bit too loud…..didn’t stop us though….
Finally in bed around 4 am, I went online and started reading the tweets from the evening and cracked up as Scandal slept (satisfied) next to me. (7 hours of sleep in 3 nights woohoo!)
Stay tuned for the last day’s events from Wicked Girl’s Book Weekend.
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